Put a ring on your own finger.

Original one of a kind art...by
Judith Parsons Art 2017

It is a fallacy to believe love is easy-that you don’t have to try. Love takes lots of work and lots of restraint. Holding the tongue, letting the energy settle and apologizing is a big piece of the heart shaped apple pie we call Love.

Having someone worry about you, and staying up, is another huge slice of that belly satisfying love. When we are away from our loves, we worry about them. I was talking with my sister and she said: “We are only as happy as our most unhappy child.”

It is true. Those feathery words floated from my sisters lips and became gorgeous pearls of wisdom. Love means we worry. Love means another person cares tremendously about us and wants to know that our love is tucked away safely in their bed.

Love can also become a ball and chain. The tethered love lines become uncomfortable. The once light weight connect becomes frozen with harsh words and angry emotions. The love line becomes a noose.

There are many variables within relationship equations. The quiet silent treatment, the “I will catch you tomorrow” text, the throw your hands up into the air and say; “I quit”. Then the walking away moments, the horrible “we will remain friends”…when in reality—ONE person always refuses to talk.

I have been given many relationships to learn from. I have seen the schizoid one, the bending over backwards to please another one, the please walk-your-talk one, the sex was great- but I am not ready to commit one, the spiritual one-however we are both set in our ways one.

The good news is this. I am ready to love myself first. I watched the TEDtalk yesterday about marrying oneself. She hit the nail upon the head. “Until we are happy with ourselves, we will not be happy with anyone outside of ourselves.” THIS!! really speaks to me.

I am going to make a list of things I need to do to be happy with me. Through sickness and in health, for richer or poorer…I know the things I need to work upon to love myself. Then the fears of the other person will not get under my skin. Then the other relationship is a bonus, an extra love to share.

For now. There is much work to be done.