Why?

The gears are turning and I am trying to wrap my head around something. There is smoke coming from ears, the gears are churning and burning and I just want to stand up and own something.

(Pulling soap box out, and standing upon it)

I have said some pretty stupid things in my life. Most of the time I was unaware. I was not empathetic or compassionate. I would like to think as I have aged, I have become more aware.

I would like to think the people that I surround myself with are also trying to be empathetic and aware. Maybe it was the star alignment, maybe it was something I said earlier…that I wasn’t aware of, so I got a little of the tit-for-tat back in my face.

But generally, overall…I have learned to pause, gulp some air. And not respond. I could have really lost my mind. So instead of saying anything really hurtful. I just gulped it down. 

And now, I keep thinking “why?”…Why?…Why?

What purpose does it serve to be mean?

Sighing. 

Oh, own it.

Don’t hide behind some lame excuse.

(Stepping off soap box, turning on my heel and walking away.)

I need some time to let the gears cool off.