Loneliness

One of my first doodle drawing- showing my confused state.
Feb. 2013 Stan, I hope you don't mind me using.

It is not like me to be melancholy…forgive me for stepping out of my normal happy go lucky genre. However, the past 3 days have taught me much.

Thanksgiving is over. It was my first EVER alone. It has given me a wealth of emotions to create from. How does one portray loneliness?

It would be a great future project to have my future students work on!

(smiling sigh)

If your would imagine a towering wall. The front side of the wall- are all the words that mean happy gathering. The sounds emanating from the laughter- the clinking of china and silver. The football game in the back ground. THEN- the opposite side of that wall. The dark side, sits a lone figure. That is the reality of what I just experienced. I brought it upon myself. (sigh) I do not ever want to do it again. It is a scary place. THat I'd just as soon leave alone.

I made it through. I drank all 3 bottles of wine…I sipped one a day. I glazed art- and chilled with my art. I am attached to these pieces – because they helped me focus outside of myself. They let my mind get lost in the hair line stroke between black and blue.

Ready now to stop laying in the muck of slimmy  aloneness. It is time to get up and create-CREATE – create!

I have 3 days to sit in the shadow. It was my choice. I lived through it- and NOW know- beyond a doubt what life and love is about.

God knows I know.

The  shadow of the holiday

I have finally lived through the black fire

Loneliness

I sat at the bottom of the well

Of total abysmal black

One voice

The rope that hung down

Upon which the bucket had fallen ages ago.

The holiday showed me

Her back

I am getting used to her silence

The front of her all happy and party time

The shadow side I dwell

Doing push ups

Becoming stronger

So I can scale her slimy walls of forgetfulness