Sunday, November 2, 2014

George Winston--Musical memories.

A friend posted piano music by George Winston, it was like a world of old friends walked back into my life.

I fell in love with George Winston when I was falling in love with my husband. It was an innocent time, I gulp back the memories. These musical thoughts were stored in a secret hollow of a tree in my mind.

When the music started playing I could see them all zoom and flow like iridescent bubble bees happy to be brought to life.

The music brought back long car trips, walks upon the beach, the cool air of Monterey Bay as I drove back from Santa Cruz. 
(sighing) Was it a simpler time? Was I living my best life? Was I gathering strength so that I could finally Become the artist I am becoming?
As another song of his plays- I smile…Priscilla’s wedding arrives at the fore front of my mind. Aunt Peggy’s house upon the water. The lovely evenings preparing meals, drinking wine with candle light. (gulping back the tears) Wow.

I see the young me- with my baby boy in my lap. She see’s me, she makes eye contact and we smile at one another. I caress her cheek, I kiss her forehead…And we both gulp.

If only I knew then -what I know now.
If only.

My ex-husband, walks into the room…he sees the old me and the young me..and he hugs us both. Oh how I so wish I could hug him. 
I miss you. I know you will not ever respond to my e-mails…I know you want to be rid of me- for all the hurt I caused. 
I am sorry.

I leave you with this song:

Hark how the bells….

The candles we lit on Christmas eve. I promise to leave you alone now. I understand. You didn’t reply- that said it all. I will leave you be.

Think of all the times we smiled…

Closing the wonderful door to a world a millions miles away. The songs haunt me...
(gulping) I suppose I have learned...a million years in a year.

1 comment:

  1. <3 ( I am able to feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelllllll & experience what you are feeeeling & going through ... <3 )